Simple Living

This is the first of what I hope will be several entries that discuss my reflections on and experiences of living with each of the four JV core values: Spirituality, Social Justice, Community and Simple Living. I would like to start with the value of simple living because personally it was one of the values that I probably felt least comfortable in understanding as I embarked on this experience more than a year ago when I actually made the decision to apply only to become a Jesuit Volunteer and began working on the application, interview and placement processes. I think that it is really important to understand exactly what JVC Northwest views simple living as and to understand the place that I was at when I first began my journey as a JV during the application process.

According to the JVC Northwest website, "JVC Northwest challenges each volunteer to live a simple and reflective lifestyle, an alternative way to living in a consumer society. JVC Northwest stresses spiritual values over material possessions and invites volunteers to integrate their faith by working and living among those who experience poverty and oppression. This helps volunteers to experience the lives of those with whom they interact on a daily basis and to raise their consciousness to the human needs surrounding them. Often, volunteers find that living simply opens them up to a more joyful way of life, appreciating small wonders that often go unnoticed in everyday life."

Ten months ago, my own perception on simple living was as follows: I understand a simple lifestyle as one in which an individual’s basic needs are being met (i.e. food, clothing, and shelter) but in which a conscious effort is being made to refrain from products that harm the environment or other people and from buying unnecessary items. I feel that a commitment to a simple lifestyle would put my passion for social justice into my daily life as I would be more aware of what I am spending money on, where the item comes from and how it affects that area. I also feel that a simple lifestyle that is not focused on consumer goods or relying heavily on the internet and technology would provide an environment that is more conducive to building strong, positive relationships with other people and would enable me to be more present to my faith life, my personal needs and my experiences.

My own views and experiences of simple living have definitely evolved over the past ten months and more importantly over the past 4 months while living in Sitka. Given that my basic needs (housing and food) are being met by my community’s monthly checks from our placements, my monthly stipend goes a long way in Sitka. I have very few needs outside of food and shelter and have been able to use my stipend for mailing packages and letters, getting coffee or hot chocolate at one of the coffee shops, various community events that require admission (assuming it is one of the few that we aren’t volunteering at) or the occasional beer or meal out. Here in Sitka (where we have very few big chains) it is very easy to buy locally and not support a large corporation like Wal-mart that routinely run small businesses out of towns and treat their workers unfairly. Since our arrival, my housemates and I have strayed away from purchasing items from the tourist shops that line the main strip in town. While many of the locally owned shops also cater to the tourists during the summer months, supporting the local economy and people was and is something that I feel is particularly important especially when these tourist stores close down for half of the year when there are no longer cruise ships coming through. I have also come to learn over time that one of the big social justice/simple living issues deeply impacting large portions of the Sitka population is the ever present battle between commercial fishermen and the charter companies (we will not purchase fish from the charter companies.) I am not exactly the most articulate and knowledgeable person to be summarizing this issue, but from what I understand, the charter companies will over fish the area with non-Alaskan visitors (who pay thousands of dollars for their trips) during the summer months which makes it really difficult for the commercial fishermen to make a living, not to mention the ecological impact that over fishing has on the waters surrounding Sitka.

Aside from influencing how I spend my money, being intentional about simple living has permeated my life in a variety of areas. As a community, we decided not to have internet in our house and it has truly been a blessing and allowed us to grow individually and closer as a community. Towards the early part of the year we borrowed internet from a neighbor and that often meant that someone in the house was e-mailing or using the internet after work. I personally have thoroughly enjoyed writing letters and postcards, along with the occasional birthday card, to friends and family and taking the time to 1) think about what I want to say in it and 2) legibly (I think) writing a letter and sending it out via the post office. I cannot even begin to describe how excited I get when I receive a letter in the mail. For me, I feel that I put a part of myself into every letter that I write and I feel that I am receiving a part of someone else when I receive theirs as well. I find letters to be more meaningful and I will keep working to improve my letter writing because it is something that I find to be calming and is something that I think is really important, especially when e-mail has become such an ingrained part of our society.

My time in Sitka has also provided me with ample opportunities to take in and enjoy nature and the little things in life. Since arriving four months ago, one of my favorite things to do is walk around Totem Park either on the beach or in the woods. The views from the beach are absolutely gorgeous (mountains, downtown Sitka, the sky, etc.) and the tranquility of the woods is unparalleled so close to town. I have probably walked around Totem Park at least once a week since the beginning of September, whether it be by myself or with my community members, and it continues to be a place that provides me with new experiences, thoughts and views every time I visit. Over the past month or so, with the wind gusts being as high as they are, I have been thoroughly amused at watching the ravens attempt to fly through the gusts and instead be blown backwards. I am not 100% sure whether this is really mean or not but it is a lot of fun to watch. I am anxiously awaiting another snow storm (crossing my fingers for this weekend) because the forest and the area up and down Indian River, which runs through Totem Park, are absolutely gorgeous during and immediately following a snowfall. I also have found that my day to day activities can be stopped if the sky is clear enough because the snow covered mountains, especially Mt. Edgecumbe (the volcano), are breathtaking. Every day I continue to find myself in awe of my surroundings and I hope that this trend continues throughout my life whether I am in Alaska, Long Island or anywhere else in the world.

When hanging out around the house, I have really enjoyed just being and enjoying the comfort of home. Whether I am journaling (about God, my job, life, or absolutely nothing at all), writing letters, playing games (ranging from Apples to Apples to card games to a game my house made up), conversing with my housemates (about work, politics, faith, Lost, or just joking around), or reading, I love my house and the comfort and environment that it provides.

At work, I have definitely gotten more comfortable with accepting the little victories and not necessarily focusing on the end result as much. In this way, I have been able to get really excited about figuring out that one of the children in shelter (a year old) absolutely loves country music (Taylor Swift obviously) and Lady Gaga as well as get excited about the fact that another child was willing to give hi-fives today and did not hit anyone (in my world, this has become a huge deal.) Having lunch with a group of second graders is something that I look forward to every Tuesday and seeing one of the children laugh or smile during group or while playing in the playroom is something that can make even the longest, worst day turn around in an instant.

My experience and understanding of simple living have definitely evolved throughout this year but I am certain that I do not (and probably cannot) fully comprehend the impact of living simply on my life at this time and have definitely had times this year where I have lived far from simply. What is the one thing that I do know for sure about simple living? Over the past four months, I have experienced simple living (and powerful emotions and thoughts) in the little things: smiles, laughter, ravens, snow, nature and handwritten notes and letters. So I urge you not to overlook the little things in your life; watch the sun rise or set; write someone a letter; walk along the beach or through the woods; read a book; have a real, meaningful conversation with another person.

Sitka Updates

While things have been relatively quiet in the month of November at the house, Sitka and at work, the past week was fairly exciting. Unfortunately this past week, our friend Marcus, the local youth minister, moved back to Juneau to take a job with the state. It's definitely better for him long term but that doesn't mean that we can't be selfish and wish he were still here. We helped him and his dad move his stuff out of his apartment and then watched The Taking of Pelham 123 the night that he left on the ferry. After saying goodbye to Marcus, we had the luxury of having our first visitor to Alaska who was not a member of JVC staff. Greg's buddy from SLU, who is a JV in Tacoma, came up for the long weekend and it was really nice to have a visitor (hint: come to Sitka!) We went out to a little bar in Sitka that we generally had avoided because it is usually empty but we ended up having a really good time. It was a quiet enough atmosphere that you could actually have a conversation and the bartender was hilarious! She definitely gave Greg a run for his money...always having something to say to him and sometimes leaving him with no response. It was a fun night. We had a fairly busy Thanksgiving as well. When I woke up, Katie was watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade which reminded me of watching the balloons get blown up last year with Brian and Mo. Good times. Katie and I decided that we were going to play football with some FJVs and friends from the community which was a lot of fun. A bunch of high school students from Mt. Edgecumbe (local high school for Alaskan natives from throughout the state) played too, so we had a really good group of people together. After the game we hurried to get ready for our first Thanksgiving meal. We were invited to 'dinner' at 1 at the home of two parishioners from St. Gregory's. It was really nice to converse with them and Fr. Scott and they seemed to really appreciate having company for the holiday. During the visit we had some good conversations about history and the wide variety of historical artifacts that adorned their living room, ranging from every type of Alaskan license plate, to glass fishing buoys (from Asia), and a large number of pictures/paintings/images of wolves. After having an enjoyable time there, we went home, got everything together and moved over to the house where Greg was housesitting. Greg, his friend and I started getting preparations underway for deep frying our turkey. The girls (not thinking he could find one) told Greg that he could deepfry the turkey if he found a fryer and did it on his own. Contrary to what the girls say, no one was in any danger at anytime and the only casualty was the turkey who wouldn't fit in the pot originally and had to be cut into pieces. While it probably took us a little longer than it should have the turkey turned out really well and the girls did a great job at finishing off the preparations for the sides while fearing for our lives. Dinner turned out really well and it was really nice to have our own little family Thanksgiving.

I worked on Friday and had a much busier day than I had anticipated having. After doing a variety of little things for the children's program in the morning (and planning on getting ahead and planning something for our after school group on Monday), I did some women's advocacy in the afternoon. While it was quite difficult to hear the woman's story (and feeling not entirely comfortable because I hadn't really done too much advocacy for women thus far) it turned out to be a really good experience. While I can't talk too much about it, I was able to advocate for her in a variety of ways and was able to present her with information to help empower her that would allow her to advocate for herself as well.

Over the weekend, the art galleries opened themselves up which was really cool because there are so many really talented local artists and I saw a bunch of prints that I will probably look into getting later in the year. Saturday was a pretty low key day and involved a lot of relaxing and letter writing. We all spent Saturday night at the housesitting gig, playing Scattergories and watching one of my favorite movies, Up! It is so, so good! On Sunday, we attended St. Gregory's annual first Sunday of Advent mass at Centennial Hall that was presided over by Bishop Burns from Juneau. It was a really nice mass that included three Baptisms and the Confirmation of four others and culminated in a large potluck lunch for the parish community. A number of student dance groups from Mt. Edgecumbe provided entertainment and it was a nice afternoon.

The weather also continues to be consistently inconsistent, ranging from sun, snow, rain, hail, sleet to thunderstorms and changing on a whim. The only constant lately has been the winds whipping off of the Gulf of Alaska. They were really rough this weekend and caused the airport to shut down for several hours due to boulders on the runway! Only in Alaska.

Early November

The weather continues to amaze me. The first week of November was similar to the month of October: cool, mostly cloudy, and windy with the occasional rain storm. Work has continued to go well and one of the families had a great week. They were able to acquire funding for a deposit on a house rental and they moved out! It was incredible to see how happy and excited the kids and mom were to be moving into their new place and it has inspired me to see the family's successes. The shelter is still crowded with a large number of children which means that we are really busy in the children's program. While it is wonderful that the women and their children have sought safety and advocacy at the shelter it is really tough to continue to see the shelter full and needed for direct services. This became particularly clear to me yesterday while attending a presentation that Katie was giving at her boss' fellowship. She did a wonderful job presenting her reflections on seeing ourselves and beyond ourselves and leading a guided reflection that led to each of us composing a poem about our thoughts on sight. My own personal reflection led me to think about liberation and unity. In the discussion period following her presentation, an older gentleman (in his 80's and a retired doctor) raised his suspicions about the existence of child abuse and domestic violence in the world, because in his experience as a doctor and visiting pediatric wards he had never seen child abuse and thinks it is one of those things that is made up. Another man asked people to raise their hands if they know of a child who has been abused or were themselves (every person) and thankfully Katie's boss ended the discussion right after that because I was not in a great place to be having a discussion with this guy. I was livid for a large part of the afternoon and couldn't believe what I had heard earlier in the day. It really made me take a step back and think about the need for and importance of trainings focused on Domestic Violence and child abuse in communities and for professionals (such as doctors, teachers and police officers) who might not fully comprehend the issues (or choose to ignore them) and will come into contact with victims and other individuals impacted by these abuses in their occupation. Thanks for letting me vent.

Halloween Week

So the week after retreat was spent almost entirely on getting things together for Halloween at the shelter and for Halloween and Katie's birthday (All Saints' Day.) Meg and I experimented and created a paper mache pinata by blowing up a balloon, covering it with 2 layers of paper mache (we left a hole in it so we could fill it with all kinds of treats), then put 2 layers where the treats were placed and painted it as a 'Happy Pumpkin' which won a very close vote over a ghost or a witch. We also got all kinds of fun foods and decorations together and started preparing the children's playroom early on Friday when all of the kids were at school. We had lights, jack-o-lanterns, spiderwebs, and Halloween themed garland and streamers. There were Halloween cupcakes, ants on a log (celery, peanut butter and raisins), pretzels, monster teeth (apples with almonds) and apple cider. The party itself was an absolute blast and the children definitely had a good time (as did the moms and staff who attended.) Meg dressed up like a pirate and I as Harry Potter (I proudly walked around town with my scar and cloak after the party.) During the party the children painted pumpkins, got their faces painted by Meg, tatoos from me, and played a few fun games such as pin the face on the jack-o-lantern and we led them through a creepy little story that had them reaching into paper bags to touch "guts, brains, eyes and intestines" and culminated with sticking their hands into a box marked with a ? that one of the moms had her hand in! It was great to see the kids interacting with each other (those living in shelter and those no longer in shelter) and they all seemed to really have a good time.

After that epic afternoon, I went with a few of my housemates to the haunted ship that the Coast Guard had on their ship in town. It was awesome! Particularly because my housemates are what I would call jumpy and sometimes they do things without thinking, like swatting or punching things that jump out at them. On Saturday night we attended the Stardust Ball hosted by the local radio station (we got free admission for agreeing to help with the cleanup), Raven Radio, and it was definitely an experience. My housemates and I dressed up like Ms. Pacman and the ghosts from the arcade game! The ball was really fun, there was a great band (the Gourds who cover Gin and Juice) and there were lots of awesome, ridiculous costumes. Among my favorites from the night were our friend T who dressed up like Mr. T (complete with mohawk), a guy who dressed up as the kid who floated away in the balloon in Colorado, the two radio hosts who dressed up like French royalty and my favorite costume, a man who dressed up like Levi Johnston (Bristol Palin's ex.) Only in Alaska I told myself.

Sunday was Katie's birthday and even though she did not want us to acknowledge or celebrate her birthday we all ignored her. We had a bunch of people over for a potluck to celebrate Katie's 22nd and it was fun and relaxing (which was super necessary for me after the busy week.) In the end I am pretty sure that Katie had a good time and might be over at least some of her negative feelings about birthdays.

Long overdue post

So the past couple of weeks have been pretty crazy up here. Over the past 2 weeks I have celebrated and experienced Alaska Day, gone on retreat in Wasilla (the town where Sarah Palin was mayor), and celebrated Halloween!

Alaska Day
Alaska Day is October 18 and it commemorates the 1867 exchange of Alaska from Russia to the United States. While it is a state holiday, Sitka is the only place that actually celebrates it and celebrate they do. The whole celebration lasts an entire week and includes a large number of events and hundreds of people flowing into town from all over Alaska and down south. My housemates and I officially began our Alaska Day celebration on Friday night by attending a concert put on by the 9th Army Band from Ft. Wainwright in Fairbanks. Prior to attending the concert I had expectations of seeing an orchestra dressed in tuxedos or dress uniforms playing classical music. That was most definitely a false assumption! The band played in their camo and band t-shirts (which were awesome...they had a polar bear on the front) and played a wide variety of music ranging from 1950s rock and roll to funk to Rob Thomas and Toby Keith. It was an awesome show and a great way to start the weekend! After the concert we met up with a bunch of Americorps volunteers and saw Where the Wild Things Are. Greg and I were really excited about seeing this movie and I have to see that I was not disappointed. I thought that the movie was really good but I don't think that I felt happy at any point in the entire movie. It was a really, really heavy movie but it was well done and I could definitely feel what the characters were feeling.

Saturday brought relatively nice weather (50s cloudy and dry) and a trip to the U.S. Coast Guard open house! It was most definitely geared towards families with children but I made the most of it. My housemate Katie and I were by far the most excited people at the base. The hangar was full of representatives from the fire department, police department, the local search and rescue team, the Coast Guard and the Army. We had the opportunity to go on a C-130 airplane, a Blackhawk! and a Coast Guard Jayhawk (a modified Blackhawk.) I met a rescue swimmer from Rhode Island (he saw my red sox hat and I noticed a red sox patch on his helmet) and chatted with one of the pilots for about a half hour about the helicopter (while sitting in the cockpit), life back east (he went to the Naval Academy) and sports. It was totally random but I learned a lot about the aircraft and it was a great conversation. My housemates and our support person were convinced that I had enlisted on the spot and I am pretty sure that they see this as a very real possibility before the year is over. NOTE: I have no intentions of joining any branch of the military so don't worry. After the Coast Guard open house we explored the Russian Bishop's House, which is part of the National Park system in Sitka and is directly across the street from our house. It was interesting to learn about the Russian history of town and the way that it continues to exist today as the chapel is often used for services. We had a relatively quiet night at home playing card games with a couple friends and gearing up for Sunday.

Sunday was by far one of the busiest days I have experienced in Sitka so far. I got up early and went to mass and then headed over to the docks for some blackened Cod and rice with Greg which was absolutely delicious. We stood along the water and watched the Coast Guard and Army helicopters circling the harbor preparing for their flyover of the National Cemetary Memorial service. Shortly after lunch we headed up the street further into town to get a spot for the parade. It was a total community effort. There were groups marching from the schools (the high school marching band in matching rain jackets and xtra-tufs), community groups, local businesses, the Coast Guard, the army, bag pipers from Juneau and the Pipe and Drum band from the Seattle Fire Department! After the parade we headed over to the house where Meg (my supervisor) was housesitting to wait for the Coast Guard's rescue demonstration near the bridge. This was without a doubt one of the coolest things I have ever seen in my life! One of the rescue swimmers jumped into the water from a boat and waited to be "rescued" by another rescue swimmer who jumped out of the helicopter. It was really exciting and it happened about 200 feet away from where we were standing! We could see everything and were getting hit by the spray created by the helicopter! After dinner, a few of us went back to Meg's to hang out. Her and I baked some cookies and then we all headed out to the Pioneer Bar to hang out. There were 8 of us and it was entirely JVs and FJVs. After about an hour or so of hanging out, the bagpipers from Seattle marched in playing! After they finished playing, they stayed to hang out too. The atmosphere is one that is very difficult to describe but it reminded me of St. Patrick's Day. It was a fun time and a great end to the weekend.

Retreat
After a busy week at work, we departed for Anchorage very early on Friday morning to meet up with the JVs from around Alaska for our first retreat. We picked up the Juneau JVs on our flight and rather than sleeping for the roughly 2 hour flight to Anchorage, I found myself deeply engaged in conversation with a Mormon missionary from Idaho (the Juneau JVs thought that we knew each other.) We had a nice discussion of different theological issues and differences between Catholicism and Mormonism and we talked about his mission and my JV year. He acknowledged pretty early on in the conversation that he was not going to try to convert me which definitely helped in keeping the conversation going. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation and I got off the plane carrying the book of Mormon which the other JVs found extremely amusing. Sometimes I wonder how I get myself into these situations but my hosuemates are definitely getting used to the fact that I will inevitably get into a conversation with some random person pretty much wherever we go.

The retreat itself was really good for me and my community! It was not an intense retreat like Quest, Manresa or a Kairos but it was one that helped me evaluate my own perspective on how I am doing in community and at work, helped our community share our own thoughts on what is important for us in community (we created a community tool box full of little rules and advice that we think are important for us living in community) and brought us closer together as we had a really good affirmation session where we shared about how each person has inspired, challenged and pushed us this year. There was a good amount of free time built into the weekend which was awesome because I got to spend time with Alex and Avanti and I got to bond with JVs from the other houses. I had a lot of really good conversations over the course of the weekend, I loved hearing about the various placements that people are at and it was great to talk to JVs working at other domestic violence shelters throughout Alaska. I also feel like it will now be a lot easier to call and e-mail other JVs because I didn't really feel that connected to the other Alaska houses prior to this weekend.

The retreat also featured a coffeehouse social where members of various houses performed some dances/songs. Katie, Evie and Natalie serenaded Greg to their own version of Taylor Swift's "Love Story" essentially because he left the house a few days early for retreat to hang out in Anchorage and gave them enough time to 1. come up with this idea and 2. practice. It was one of the funnier things I have seen/experienced this year.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (as well as Breast Cancer and Disabilities Awareness Month), so I have decided to dedicate a post to sharing relevant statistics and information related to domestic violence and sexual assault because this is a cause very close to my heart given my position in the Children's Program at Sitkans Against Family Violence and has a huge impact on the lives of millions across the United States.

Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive behavior where one person chooses to use violence or the threat of violence to have power or control over another in an intimate or family relationship. It manifests itself in a variety of ways, including physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, stalking, and child abuse. Physical abuse generally is seen in direct acts of physical violence, in physical actions that put another at risk (throwing something or shooting a gun toward them), or in threats of physical violence like pointing a gun or other weapon at another person or telling them that you are going to kill them.) Emotional abuse plays a significant role in domestic violence because it can and often does emotionally and mentally destroys another person through insults, ridicule, demeaning language and humiliation. It also includes varying levels of manipulation, controlling or limiting access to finances, friends and family, or threatening to hurt a child or pets. This pattern of abuse is what defines domestic violence, not a singular act of physical violence. The acts of violence coupled with emotional abuse keep family members or partners living in fear.

I also wanted to briefly address a very common question/belief/myth about domestic violence: If there is abuse/violence why don't women leave? There are a variety of reasons as to why a women would stay with a batterer. Sometimes she has been isolated to the point that she has nowhere to go and no one to turn to. There is always the fear of increased violence (the separation period is often the most dangerous and lethal time of a relationship involving domestic violence.) She can also be afraid of being unable to financially support, feed, house and clothe her children if she leaves. She could be afraid that no one will believe her, of what the courts, police and Office of Children Services will do to her, or of what the kids and society would think of her. She also probably loves her batterer. I know that this seems counterintuitive but she loves the man that he was before he starting being physically violent and she is hoping that the violence will stop and he will again be that man. As you can see, there are a seemingly infinite number of reasons that someone will stay with a batterer.

The following are a number of facts related to domestic violence and violence against women in the United States. According to the Center for Disease Control, roughly 1.3 million women each year are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year in the United States and nearly one in four women in the United States reports experiencing violence by a current or former spouse or boyfriend at some point in her life. In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner.

Domestic violence also has a huge impact on the lives of child victims and witnesses of violence in the home. An estimated 15.5 million children in the United States live in families in which partner violence occurred at least once in the past year, and seven million children live in families in which severe partner violence occurred. According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, in a single day in 2008, 16,458 children were living in a domestic violence shelter or transitional housing facility. Another 6,430 children sought services at a non-residential program. The impact on children continues to be felt for years after as they are at an increased risk of depression, experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and a host of other effects that include social isolation, physical effects such as bed wetting, stomachaches, headaches, trouble sleeping, etc. Children who have been victims of or witnessed violence are also at high risk for substance abuse and engaging in unhealthy relationships either as perpetrator or victim.

In the state of Alaska (with a population of roughly 650,000) , the prevalence of domestic violence and sexual assault are among the highest in the U.S. According to the Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, in 2005 there were over 6,000 reported cases of domestic violence in Alaska and 524 forcible rapes reported. These numbers do not reflect the actual instances of domestic violence and rape in Alaska because many victims do not report. A National Crime Survey showed that almost half (48%) of all incidents of domestic violence against women were never reported to the police. The murder rate for women in Alaska is disturbing: for non-native Alaskan women it is 1.5 times the national average and for native Alaskan women it is 4.5 times the national average. In Alaska, more than half of these murders are domestic violence related.

During the month of October I challenge you to learn something more about DV and its impact on our friends, our families, children and our communities.
The following are lyrics to a song called "The Wolf" by Catie Curtis that a local musician played at our Domestic Violence Awareness Month kickoff event:

When my daddy lived here, I never worried
When my daddy lived here, he read me stories
And I never was afraid when the endings were scary
'Cause my daddy would say, "I will keep you safe when the wolf comes to the house.

Now my mother has a boyfriend,
She let him move in
She let him tell her that she's just a fool
And I've heard them fighting, I heard him knock her down
I try to read at night, but I don't like it now

'Cause when the wolf lives in your house
You can't get him out
When the wolf lives in your house
You can't get him out

My mother tells me we are a family
But I don't want to be, I have a plan
Yes I'm waiting for the day when I am stronger
And I will step in the way, I'll make him sorry

When the wolf lives in your house
You can't get him out
When the wolf lives in your house
You can't get him out

Online resources:
Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault: http://www.andvsa.org/
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: http://www.ncadv.org/
National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://www.ndvh.org/

Bye bye tourists, hello fall in Sitka.

Last Tuesday marked the arrival of the season's final cruise ship meaning that a significant number of stores and businesses will now be closing until tourist season starts up again in the spring. The closed stores are definitely noticeable but the lack of foot traffic through town has been the biggest adjustment for me in my daily routine. I can now walk from the house to work and not see anyone along the way. This is something that is rough because the tourist wear (lots of college sweatshirts and jackets) and slow moving pace through town provided a lot of enjoyment for me but it also means that Sitka will finally be able to be itself. I am really excited about this because now everyone in town is locals and there are lots of fun activities and events throughout the fall and winter such as Alaska Day, Whale Fest and the monthly grind, which is a community wide talent show (from what I've heard.)

Since Jamie left, we have gotten a lot of rain here which means that my rain pants and xtra tufs have become staples in my daily wardrobe. Over the past few days though we have had some really great weather. On Friday it was bright, clear and very sunny. I worked a half day because I had put in a long day for SAFV's Domestic Violence Awareness Month kickoff on Thursday and was able to go for a hike with my housemate, Evie, on Gavan Hill. The hike up the hill to the ridge line itself is pretty steep and not exactly the most scenic but the view from the ridge line was absolutely incredible. We could see dozens of islands that lay further out in Sitka Sound towards the Gulf of Alaska, the snow covered mountain peaks surrounding and beyond Sitka and the town itself. While the hike was tough and definitely left me with a sore knee it was well worth it. I'm hoping for at least one semi clear day each week because I'm not sure there is a more beautiful place to be when it's clear.

This week also signalled the start of SAFV's safety presentations and lunch groups in the elementary schools. Meg and I presented on basic safety rules, big problems (ones that are dangerous, scary or against the law), safe adults and safe/unsafe touch to 6 first grade classes at Baranof Elementary this week. This week we will present the second half of the information to the first graders and begin our presentations to the kindergarten classes. We will start our lunch support groups at Baranof in a couple weeks which should be a lot of fun. Our lunch groups at Keet Gooshi Heen Elementary started last week and we have groups of second, third and fifth graders. We basically meet with them, eat lunch, go through each person's highs and lows (rose and thorn), talk about what we are excited about and if there's time, we will do a small little art activity. The groups include students who are currently living in shelter, may have lived in the shelter at some point or are chosen by the school counselor as someone who could benefit from the added support (whether there is domestic violence in the home or not.) These groups are short but after one week I could definitely see that the participating children both enjoyed themselves and seemed to benefit from the extra support of both peers and adults. This week will be a big one because Meg is going to a conference in Anchorage and I will be running lunch groups and giving safety presentations on my own. I'm looking forward to it and am excited to be in the schools interacting with the children.

On a community level, this week has been really good. We have been really supportive of each other's work events, attending kickoff events for Disability Awareness and DV Awareness Months as well as getting together with Bridget, our support person, for a delicious dinner and a good conversation about gender and its impact on our lives and our community dynamic. On the whole, we feel that our community is one where gender is a non issue for us with chores, leadership, and the activities that we do when we are hanging out with the exception being that Greg and I enjoy taking in some football on the weekends and the girls really enjoy knitting/crocheting. This week has also brought me a lot closer to Evie and Greg because they have been very supportive of me and I have found them extremely easy to open up to and talk things through. One of the funnest parts in community though this week happened on Wednesday when we tried our first energy free day. We had a pretty good first showing and I thoroughly enjoyed ending my night by having Evie read us The Indian in the Cupboard in candlelight.

Jamie's visit!

So last Saturday our community was joined by our area director, Jamie, for a several day visit. It was her first trip to Alaska and we were all really pumped to 1. see Jamie and 2. have a visitor! We attempted to welcome Jamie to Sitka by each standing somewhere different along the road between the airport and our house (maybe 4 miles) holding signs that said "Hi Jamie." This of course didn't totally work out because her flight got in a little early and the Sitka airport is literally one room. We ate some halibut (a gift from a random fisherman) for dinner and then took Jamie on a little walk around Sitka because it was a pretty nice night. We went back to the house and played some cards for a couple of hours and just started catching up on how things were going so far in town for us. On Sunday we went to St. Gregory's for mass and since she was a visitor, Jamie was welcomed by Fr. Scott and the community. After mass we went on a hike of Herring Cove which is just as beautiful in the rain as it is in the sun so that hike was a lot of fun.

On Monday morning I had my one on one meeting with Jamie which I had really been looking forward to. We walked around Totem Park a bit and along the beach because the tide was out and it was really good for me to talk about how things were going and about each of the four values. I have and continue to live them out on a daily basis, but reflection on and conversations about specific values are not always happening so it was good for me to focus on them and talk out my thoughts and struggles with them pretty clearly. I think that some of these reflections will probably be finding their way to this blog pretty soon too.

On Monday night, Jamie led a spirituality night for us and it was awesome! At least it was extremely powerful and inspirational for me. Jamie read a few excerpts from a book whose name escapes me at the moment but is a compilation of photos and interviews and focuses on liberation theology. Following the excerpts we had several questions to reflect on and we shared our 3 favorite phrases in a circle so as to create group poetry. This reflection really got me to thinking about where I am and am not seeing God in my experiences in community, at work, in nature and in the Sitka community. We all talked for about an hour after reflection about some of these questions and I think that my perspective and approach to my spirituality is in the process of being refocused so as to get the most out of this experience and not miss out on the truly important and powerful experiences and lessons that I am engaging in here.

Rather than summarizing every day and little thing that happened during Jamie's visit, I think that using just a few examples would do the trick:
1. Reading children's stories from the 1960's and The Indian in the Cupboard out loud while a couple people fell asleep at 8pm.
2. Many trips to the White E for books, Alaska Day sweatshirts and ridiculously cool hats that Jamie found.
3. Yogurt and lots of it.
4. A self-care training session for SAFV that stressed me out.
5. Jamie giving directions to tourists after 2 days in town.
6. Feeling like Jamie had been living with us for weeks and not a few days.
7. 1 month until retreat!

Herring Cove

On Monday, I worked a half day because I had training from 6-9pm and because it was a beautiful sunny day in Sitka I went for a hike with Katie and Evie on the recently opened Herring Cove Trail. It was a really nice hike with a huge variety of natural features: all of the steps utilized rocks naturally there, a large number of little waterfalls coming down from the mountain, paths that cut through logs and large boulders, a view of a large waterfall and snow capped mountains, and it connected with the Beaver Lake trail which is a loop around one of the mountain lakes. It was such a beautiful sight, the weather was perfect (sunny and low 60's), and it quickly became my favorite trail.

Saturday in the rain

This past Saturday, I had domestic violence training for 6 hours with SAFV along with about a dozen community members (including 3 members of my house.) The day's focus was on presenting some facts about domestic violence to the community, helping to explain why victims stay with their perpetrators, and beginning to talk about the impact that domestic violence has on individuals, families and communities. It was a long day but I found the conversations interesting and one video in particular that we watched presented a number of interviews with DV and sexual assault survivors, their families, and included interviews with perpetrators. The perpetrator interviews were particularly striking because each of them was in a different place of awareness of their actions and gave a perspective on the violence committed that I had never been exposed to before. I personally feel that it is important to understand and approach an issue from every direction and found this aspect helpful in beginning to understand and question why someone would abuse a loved one rather than trying to question why someone stays with an abuser (which often is the case in the media and in American society.) The blame often is pushed onto victims both for their abuse (they somehow caused it) and for staying with an abuser out of fear, financial security, lack of an adequate support system, lack of knowledge about community resources or any number of other reasons that help to explain why someone would stay. I have 2 more Saturday trainings and 2 Mondays left so be on the lookout for further reflections on what I see and learn.

On a much less serious note, Greg and I rode our bikes to Kelly's Pub on Saturday afternoon to meet our friend Ben (from Ohio) for the USC-Ohio St. game. This little trip deserves mention here because the pub is almost 2 miles from our house, it was raining hard, and it didn't open until 5! I was extremely surprised because this game started at 4 and I for sure thought that a sports bar would be open for a game between 2 top 10 teams...nope! The three of us walked around for a half hour having a really good conversation about JVC, Americorps, faith and Sitka and eventually got into the pub for the game. It was really nice to just kick back, watch a game in that atmosphere (even if we were the only people there) and make a connection outside of the house. After the game we went to a bar in town to watch a band called The Glorious Youth Parade perform. Words cannot adequately describe this experience. It was a pretty big band with a variety of instruments, the public defender on lead guitar and others dressed up in crazy outfits, including one man who I am pretty sure was dressed up like Sideshow Bob from The Simpsons.

Thoughts on today

It’s 11:30 a.m. here and I don’t think I could possibly be in a place more different than New York. The tallest building is only a few stories high, the pace of live is very slow and relaxed, and there are eight million less people. I slept in this morning because I am going into work at noon (I have training tomorrow), took a shower and looked at my phone. It said 8:46. Even eight years later, I can remember every little detail about that Tuesday and the days that followed. I remember the sound of the fire engines rushing past for twenty minutes as I filled out a survey for the JSEA. I can remember sitting in Mr. Dimichele’s class when Mr. Dougherty announced that a plane had hit and the discussion and questions that followed. I remember sitting in advisement with Dr. Tricamo for what seemed like an eternity before lunch. I remember sitting in the quad after school with Jon Spagnola and Mr. Dimichele while waiting for my aunt and cousin. I remember meeting Johnny and Bobby on the subway at 59th St. I remember seeing the smoke all along the south shore from the LIRR and I remember my dad picking me up at my aunt and uncle’s in Baldwin. Time and distance have done little to alter my feelings and memories from that day and being so far from home and people who understand the feelings has been a struggle today.

But I am hopeful because I know tomorrow will be a better day. The rays of sunshine sneaking through the low lying clouds here remind me that the sun and light are still there (and always are.) The dozens of Coast Guard members who are volunteering throughout Sitka today remind me of the unity and national pride that reverberated throughout America that day and in the days that followed. My own experiences since that day have shown me that together we can do anything that we set our minds to. So I leave you today, as I pray for peace, unity and solace with hope for the future.

The following are some quotes, poems, prayers that I have found to be particularly striking on a personal level and wanted to share with you:

A QUIET HERO

Some men die a glorious death full of fanfare and fame
Others die so quietly we hardly know their name
It doesn't matter how they die, the void they leave is great
He died a quiet hero, there really is no debate ...
He saved the lives of others, snatching victory from defeat.
~ Author George G. Howard ~

St. Ignatius’ Prayer of Generosity
Lord, teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve;
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing that I do your will.

Deo et Patriae—For God and country

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith,
Where there is despair, hope,
Where there is darkness, light,
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much
seek to be consoled as to console,
not so much to be understood as to understand,
not so much to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
it is in dying that we awake to eternal life.

If You’re Out There (John Legend)

If you're ready we can shake the world
Believe again
It starts within
We don't have to wait for destiny
We should be the change that we want to see

Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

After finally getting Evie back from her work trip in Juneau, we talked about everything she had missed when she was gone and about her time in Juneau and about what to do on Sunday afternoon. So, we decided to ignore TLC's advice--"don't go chasing waterfalls"--and four of us decided to hike the Indian River trail with hopes of reaching the waterfall 4 and a half miles away. The weather was great for most of the hike as it stayed pretty clear and I was able to hike in shorts and a t-shirt for most of it and the river was full of salmon making their way upstream to spawn and die, so unfortunately a lot of the trail smelt of dead fish. The trail itself is pretty flat for the first half or so with several bridges crossing over the river that provide great views of the clear water below. About an hour and a half or so into the hike we ran into Meg and Eileen who were on their way back from the waterfall with a few friends (including a husky) and told us that we were about forty minutes away from the waterfall. After leaving them, the trail grew thinner, steeper and rockier as we approached the trail's end. Eventually we reached the waterfall and my only reaction was one of shear awe. It was majestic and giant (I haven't seen too many waterfalls so I have little to compare it to) and Katie, Evie and I felt the need to get closer. We "carefully" manuevered through and around the river to approach the falls and got within about ten feet of it (as well as soaking ourselves in the process.) The spray was freezing yet refreshing at the same time, it was really misty and pretty tough to see when you were right up next to the falls, but it was a beautiful sight.

We soon realized that it was 5pm, that we had a 2 hour hike back ahead of us and wanted to get out of the woods before dark, so we started back. Along the way, I had a really great conversation with one of my housemates about our time in Sitka so far, potential future plans, what has been challenging so far (relationships, adjusting to life here, and spirituality, among others), and things we are looking forward to, particularly a visit from Jamie, our area director, and our fall retreat so we can see and catch up with the other Alaska houses. About halway through our walk back, Katie yelled and showed us the largest bear print I have ever seen; I am pretty sure it was bigger than a dinner plate. Needless to say, our pace quickened and we started singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" as loud as we could in an effort to avoid this large bear. We all made it home safely so overall I would say this outing was a success and I fully support anyone who wants to chase waterfalls :-)

Sun!!!

So we have had 4 extremely beautiful, sunny days in a row! Since Monday I have spent a good chunk of time outside, enjoying the weather, mingling with tourists, and taking in the landscape that is all around me. I have also been a bit of a tourist myself this week as I have been taking pictures of one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen, the water, the mountains and even the moon! (I must admit that I almost forgot that it existed because I haven't seen it since arriving in Sitka.)

On Tuesday, while I was taking some photos along the water, I offered to take a picture for a lovely married couple from Idaho. After I took their picture in front of their cruise ship, they insisted that I let them take one of me in front of the ship too. Being polite, I obliged and now have my very own Sitka vacation photo! Following this encounter, I enjoyed my lunch along the water and just enjoyed being outside in the sun (I know that the rain and darkness will eventually dominate the weather here.) Rather than trying to unsuccessfully describe the weather this week and using the phrase "a picture's worth a thousand words" as my inspiration, I am just going to share some of the pictures that I took.

1-11=-1 and other fun things

This past weekend, Marcus, the St. Gregory's youth director, invited us over for dinner on Friday night. We enjoyed a nice dinner of pasta and vegetables and conversation over some white wine. After dinner we played a marathon of a poker game that I eventually won (I am terrible at poker for those of you who didn't already know that.) We obviously did not play for money because no one in the room makes enough money to do that :-)

On Saturday, I enjoyed a quiet morning at home while Greg was at work and the girls were on a boat cruise with Evie's job at SAIL (Southeast Alaska Independent Living.) It was really weird having several hours of complete quiet but I took the time to do some laundry, clean the kitchen (it was my week to do that), write some letters and enjoy some relaxation time after a long week at work. We had a pretty relaxing afternoon as well and after dinner we played this card game called "hand and foot" that Evie taught us. We ended the night playing some cards, my housemates enjoying some local beers (I wasn't feeling too well so I stuck to tea), and watching The Office. The weather was pretty chilly and raw on Sunday so after enjoying some french toast and heading over to mass, we spent the afternoon watching the Bourne Identity. Natalie is now hooked and anxiously awaiting her chance to catch the last two chapters of the series.

For our community night, we headed over to the video store and enjoyed some arcade games that they have in a back room. I forgot how much fun pinball is! Afterward, we headed over to the house that we are house sitting for the next 2 weeks. The owners have gone on a hunting trip and have left us to care for their 2 cats, chickens, rooster, and ducks! The girls agreed to stay at the house for the first night and after spending a few hours there playing cards, I realized that I will not be able to stay over there because my allergies were flaring up pretty good.

On Monday, following a beautiful day in Sitka and a fun night working childcare at the shelter, we all headed over to the new house for Spirituality night. Before we could hang out with Jesus, however, we had to collect the 7 chicks who had been let out earlier in the day from their pen. The 7 of them had assembled themselves on top of the owners' compost bin and did not want to move. After some coaxing (both verbal and physical), the chicks all were back in their proper place and I felt like the Cesar Millan of chickens. I was responsible for spirituality night this week and after Greg's wonderful reflection involving the book Matthew's Meadow last week, I decided to use a reflection exercise that I had participated in and led many times at Holy Cross called life graphs. Essentially everyone is given a blank piece of paper and a pen or marker and reflects on the events in their life that have been important, influential and that have shaped them into who they are today. We focus on both the positive and negative experiences because it is important to note that everything that we experience is integral in molding the people we are and hope to become. I closed by reciting St. Ignatius' prayer of Generosity and I think that the reflection went really well. I really enjoyed learning more about where each of my housemates is coming from and enjoyed reflecting on what events and people have helped to mold me and sharing that with my housemates.

Weekend fun

The past two weekends have been quite fun and busy. We started our weekend off last week by watching Newsies on Friday night as a house! It is such a great movie but it wasn't quite the same for me as watching a group of middle school boys from the Regis High School REACH perform it live as they did in the summer of 2006. On Saturday we had a relaxing morning at home and spent our afternoon with Eileen and Meg (an FJV from last year and my supervisor.) Eileen took us exploring along the beach and huckleberry picking, where Katie did her best Blueberries for Sal impression by eating nearly as many berries as she picked! For those of you who are like me and had never heard of huckleberries, they look like blueberries but are a bright red color (some can be blue though) and have a more tarty flavor. After we picked enough berries Eileen taught us how to properly clean the berries and get them prepared to make jam. Once it was time, it took a total team effort to turn the berries into the twelve half pints that we were able to make and save for later.

On Sunday, we all went to church at St. Gregory's where a retired priest from the Bronx resides! In the afternoon we went hiking with Eileen along Indian River and saw the very beginning of the Pink Salmon run. It has finally started to rain so hopefully the salmon will start running soon. We hiked for about three hours and the weather was constantly changing from sun to rain and back for the entire time. After our hike, Meg and Eileen invited us over for fish tacos where Meg was house sitting. Dinner was delicious and it was nice to hang out with them before our work week started.

Last night we had our first meeting with Bridget, an FJV and our support person. We had some brownies and ice cream and shared our motivations for applying to and choosing JVC Nortwest as well as our thoughts on which of the four values we felt would be the easiest and hardest for us to engage in, as well as our greatest fears for the year. For me, I think that what I am most afraid of is getting too emotional in my job; I am worried that at times I might get overwhelmed with emotions and be unable to give 100% in my job or separate what I experience at work from my own life and emotions. For this reason, I am blessed that I have such a strong support system here of my housemates, support people, FJVs and my coworkers on whom I can turn to help ensure that I am taking care of myself and dealing with things that come up and impact me one way or another.

Today, our house participated in a charity basketball tournament! Eileen financially backed our team to help benefit an organization called Young Alaskans Building Affordable Housing that she works for. We called our team the New JVs and had very low expectations for our team because most of us have never played basketball outside of gym class or pickup games in high school. We lost both of our games but we got awesome t-shirts, it was a great time and an even better cause!

Work--part of the reason I am here

So I started work on Monday of this week. I am working as the children's advocate at an organization called Sitkans Against Family Violence (SAFV.) My job consists of several parts that are all related to and focused on ensuring the safety and advocating on behalf of children both at the shelter and in the community. Part of my responsibilities will include childcare to help give moms a chance to participate in group meetings and attend appointments in town. I also will be an advocate for the children's needs as they arise both in and out of shelter and will be working on helping with planning and organizing Domestic Violence Awareness Month activities, Child Abuse Awareness Month and various holiday events for children. Once school starts, I will be helping to facilitate lunch and after school support groups and making safety presentations in the elementary schools.

It was a very busy, hectic week but I am really excited to have finally started and have an idea of what my job will be like and who I will be working with. My supervisor is Meg (an FJV from last year) who has been really good at introducing me to everyone, walking me through the procedures, and helping me understand both what we do in the children's program and how we do it. She has also been really great and checking in to make sure that I am doing ok both with the work and with adjusting to being here. Self care is something that she and SAFV stress and is something that I know will become more important as the year goes on (just like it would become more necessary later in the semester at school.)

After a week at work, I am starting to feel comfortable with my position and am adjusting to working a full time job. I was exhausted several days after work but also very fulfilled because I feel like I am doing something that matters. I feel that I have learned a LOT this week and am excited for what lies ahead. I am excited to learn more as I get more comfortable with my daily activities, excited to work with the children and anxious to get started with the school presentations and support groups.

Sitka!!!

We arrived in Sitka on Saturday August 8 and were met at the airport by a slew of FJVs, our supervisors, and support persons which was awesome to say the least. Once we got to the house we brought all of our stuff in and talked for a few minutes with some FJVs who gave us a rundown of the house and Sitka. Our house is wonderful! We live above a business offering tours of Sitka, have 4 bedrooms (I am sharing a room with Greg, who I am sure will be featured here often), 1.5 bathrooms, a kitchen with more spices than I ever thought possible outside of a restaurant and our living room, which came fully stocked with books, comfortable couches and enough art supplies to power a kindergarten class for at least a year. Greg and my bedroom has one of the greatest views I have ever seen: when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I see is the harbor (about 100 feet from our house) and mountains just beyond that that are often met by clouds along their peaks or just in front at a lower altitude. On our first night in Sitka, my housemates and I went out and explored the town. There are a good number of little shops along the main street along the water that seem to be geared towards the large number of tourists coming in from the cruise ships as well as a bunch of restaurants, coffee shops and pubs. We walked around further and saw the Russian Orthodox Church Cathedral as well as Murray Pacific (where we all got our Xtra Tuffs which are these boots that everyone in Sitka wears to stay dry) and a lighthouse on an outer island.

On Sunday morning, Eileen (an FJV from last year) took us to mass and had breakfast with us. Afterwards she drove us all around Sitka showing us where the trailheads for several trails were, took us to one of the largest sand beaches in Sitka (think maybe 30 feet of shoreline), and showed us where the roads end (there are 7 miles of road on each side of town.) Later on, she introduced us to Tyler, a local 3^rd grade teacher, who is a friend of the JVs and offered to take us fishing on Monday and Tuesday.

At 9am on Monday, along with Greg and Natalie, Tyler took us out to get ready for a day of fishing. After picking us up, Tyler taught us how to bait, which meant piercing the hook through the eye of a salmon’s head and ensuring the other end came up on the other side. We baited 15 hooks like this because we were going to lay a long line (think Mark Wahlberg in The Perfect Storm), hoping to catch some halibut when Katie and Evie returned on Tuesday to pull it up. After laying the long line and dropping a basket for crab, we set out to catch some salmon in Katlian Bay. Along the way I saw a seal and my first bald eagle!!! Before we got into the shallower water where the salmon were waiting to head upstream (they haven’t been able to head upstream due to the lack of rain this summer) we practiced casting and then started really fishing. Between the 3 of us, we caught about a dozen pink salmon and we headed for shore. Tyler then taught us how to fillet the fish (cut off their meat) as well as clean them off in the salt water to prevent the spread of bacteria and took us on a hike around Katlian Island where we saw thousands of salmon in the river, a bear bed and bear tracks! When we returned home, Tyler showed us how to bake the salmon that he had cased (gutted) and how to properly store the fish so that we can freeze them and have them in a couple weeks or months. Dinner was delicious and it was so exciting to eat something that we had caught ourselves.